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turning twenty

11 11 2019

today i became twenty years old. twenty years on this globe. the past couple of months people have asked me, and i have asked myself, how does that feel? almost being twenty? being twenty now, on this day? 

to be honest, at first i dreaded it. twenty years is a lot. i thought i had to say goodbye to my teenage years. the years that held most of my memories. but then i was reminded that it wasn’t a goodbye. it was a see you again. see you when i’m reminded, or whenever i need those lessons and memories.

i am very grateful of what the years from my tenth birthday up till now have brought me. i feel like they are the years where i discovered who i was. or helped me change to who i wanted to be, or was meant to be. i’m happy with all the lessons it gave me, all the questions and all the answers. some of which i have yet to discover. 

something also changed in the feeling about 'facing my twenties'. i felt, and feel, a sense of peace. of calmness. entering my twenties today feels like a new ten years have been added to my future, in which i can make mistakes, learn, grow. being twenty has made me look back, but also look forward in the sense that i will be able to do so much. to build upon the things i’ve done and gain new experiences or revisit old ones. it's scary, but exciting.

it’s nice being twenty. to be able to look back. like today, i’m taking a journey by train to university, not even a bit afraid of all the things that could go wrong. this seems like a small thing, but it’s something i wouldn’t have imagined to do a few years ago. 

but it's also nice to look forward to what the future may bring. to dream without expectations and be excited about all the love and friendship and little moments that will be there. 

i hope on this day, the eleventh of the eleventh, wherever you are, you have a nice day filled with lots of little moments. the moments that matter. and that you don’t dread what’s in your future or past, but live and love the now. 

lots of love,

eva